Top Ten Tips For Surviving Divorce and Separation

1. MANAGE THE EMOTIONS - Stop the turmoil by using stress management techniques. Move from feelings to rational thinking.

2. AVOID MAKING LIFE ALTERING DECISIONS UNTIL YOU ARE THINKING MORE CLEARLY - this may not be the time to relocate or change jobs.

3. REASSURE KIDS THAT FAMILY LIFE WILL CONTINUE, BUT IN A DIFFERENT WAY - go to the bookstore or library to find age appropriate books to explain separation and divorce to children.

4. ASK "AM I ACTING IN THE BEST INTEREST OF MY CHILD?" - Keep arrangements as simple as possible and don't put kids in the middle.

5. MAKE A SCHEDULE - make a list and target dates to help you feel more in control and less stressed. Delegate as much as possible.

6. ASK FOR HELP FROM SUPPORTIVE FAMILY AND FRIENDS - be specific about how they can help. GET PROFESSIONAL HELP IF NECESSARY - Sometimes it's just too hard to get through this by yourself.

7. BE REALISTIC - It's important to have realistic expectations and not to expect too much from yourself and everyone else when you are feeling so bad.

8. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF - get adequate sleep, eat healthy, exercise. Give yourself a break - you deserve it. Be protective of your need for solitude.

9. ONE DAY AT A TIME - It gets easier. It gets better and hurts less as time passes. Spend time with others who understand what you're going through.

10. GRIEVE THE LOSS - separation and divorce is devastating and it takes time to recover.
    

SHELLEE DARNELL IS A IS A LICENSED MARRIAGE AND FAMILY THERAPIST IN PRIVATE PRACTICE IN IRVINE, CALIFORNIA. SHE HAS A MASTERS DEGREE IN EDUCATION FROM JOHNS HOPKINS UNIVERSITY AND A MASTERS DEGREE IN COUNSELING PSYCHOLOGY FROM PEPPERDINE UNIVERSITY.

Shellee Darnell, M.F.C.C.
20 Corporate Park, Suite 215
Irvine, California 92606
(949) 261 - 8299